by Spirit, Relationship Expert

Men Side: The importance of open, honest and candid communication both personally & professionally. The opportunities created by being forward and proactive.

For most men, being real about their innermost feelings is something that just isn’t that easy to do. Almost from birth, men are flooded with “lessons” about what it means to be a man. They are taught to “suck it up,” that “real men don’t cry,” and that the “tougher” you are, surely that must equate to the depth of your masculinity.

With notions such as these so deeply rooted within the spirit of a man, it is no wonder that so many men have such a tremendous amount of difficulty in being vulnerable, open, and honest in the expression of their deepest emotions. However, those men who dare to defy the societal impositions of masculinity forced upon them often live lives full of personal and professional success beyond measure. The primary reason for this success is because it is in our moments of genuineness that we are able to connect with one another as human beings, regardless of the differences that typically seek to divide us.

In a man’s professional life, when he is genuine with himself and those around him, he is able to tap into the true desires of his heart and identify those things which are most important to him. He can ascertain his passions, be candid (with himself and others) about his current circumstances, and seek out whom and what it he needs to navigate himself into the arenas that he desires to travel within. Not only is he able to communicate what it is that he needs and wants, but he is typically respected and well-liked for being a person of good character and genuineness. The key to his success lies not within his ability to manipulate people or his situations, but it is in his being liked by those who know him. As a result, not only do people want to do things for him, but they keep him in mind for opportunities and advancement that he himself may not even be aware of. Bottom line – when people like you, they want to see you succeed.

In his personal life, when a man is able to communicate the private thoughts of his mind to the woman that he has given his heart to, that woman cannot help but love him truly, deeply, and passionately. While most men are able to rattle off “poor communication” as among one of the primary reasons that most relationships don’t last, it is but a small number of men who are able to recognize how much they often contribute to such ill interaction between themselves and their mate. Although it may be true that women, by nature, are more verbal than men and often out speak them, it is equally true that women desire to have their men communicate honestly and openly about everything that affects them. While this can often be a challenge for men, learning how to break the glass ceiling of communication can help men who are frustrated, disappointed, unhappy, or just simply feeling like their lives could be richer than it currently is.

The easiest way to move yourself from a man who is closed, unable or unwilling to communicate is to begin simply by making the decision that you want to begin to communicate more openly, honestly and genuinely about your thoughts and feelings. By making this decision, you can then set out to take advantage of the opportunities to do so as they present themselves. In the beginning, it will be important to start “small.” That means that you may not start by telling people your greatest fears or biggest secrets, but it may be about taking a deep breath and pausing to think before you speak the next time someone asks, “So what do you think?” or “How do you feel about that?” And after that deep breath, and pause for reflection, you actually take the risk of communicating honestly and openly about your thoughts and feelings. Perhaps when you realize that the world doesn’t fall off of its axis, you’ll be able to do it again, and again, and again.

Until next time...

S.