Supporting your child’s vision is key to their growth.

Parenting is one of the greatest and most important jobs in the world. It gives you the opportunity to impart into another human beings’ life, guiding them to greatness.

As a parent you want what’s best for your children. As they grow up, you protect them, teach them, and love them all while readying them for their future.

You have dreams of them succeeding in life and you should; you see and know their potential. You see them as: a doctor, lawyer, business owner, or even married with kids. But what do they see for themselves?

What do they want to do? What is their dream for their future?

These are important questions to ask your children, but when asking make sure to be open-minded and listen. No judgment, not even an ‘I don’t agree’.

This is your chance to support and encourage them to do their best at whatever it is they want to do. No matter how hard it is for you to hear what they choose, let them be themselves.

Let them determine what they want to do in life. Wanting your child to do what you feel is best for them isn’t wrong, that is, until it clouds your judgment and prevents you from acknowledging when they want something different than what you want.

The older your children become their own idea of their future will become clear. Your responsibility as their parent is to nourish whatever dreams they have even when its not what you see them doing.

Seeing your child choose a career that doesn’t line up with your dreams for them can be hard, however, it’s their life and their choice.

Getting discouraged about the career path they pick will come up, but this is when you remind yourself that you are a great parent and have done your best to raise them to succeed.

Parenting will seem rough at times, because as a parent you can sometimes unconsciously take your child’s career choice as a negative representation of how you raised them when in all honesty, it is not. No matter how much you coach your children to go down a certain path, in the end it is ultimately up to them what they choose to do.

“The best thing you can do is support them; show them that regardless if you agree or not they have your support.”

As a family counselor, I talk with lots of parents who are upset because their children chose a career they didn’t agree with; they had their children’s whole life planned.

As I spoke with them more I realized the issue was that the parents were trying to live their lives through their kids.

The parents wanted their kids to become what they couldn’t and started pressuring them to do what they wanted. I explained that it’s unfair to pressure their children into living out dreams that aren’t theirs; it is selfish. If you want your child to have several options get them involved in different things.

Children are like sponges and if we feed them encouragement and positivity they will soak it all in and become what is
necessary to live successful lives.

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It’s how you start the day that determines how you end your day!

We all want to have successful days; we want everything we are involved in to prosper. It’s something we want, but don’t always know how to get. We seek advice and don’t get SOULutions™ leaving us even more frustrated. This causes us to fall into a rut and become stagnant, but we can change this we’ve just got to put in the work…

As I’ve gone through school, as a wife, raised teenage boys, and counseled many, I’ve learned that the mind is where everything begins. It’s the place where our thoughts, our will, our emotions are stored. It’s a place where good and evil fight to control because they BOTH know the power it has over the rest of the body. It’s the arena of life; it’s a battlefield and as we learn to take control of our minds and give into good we can be victorious.

How you begin your day is vital. It’s what gets your gears going. Start out grumpy, you’ll carry that feeling and you will begin to project it onto your performance; start your day out positive, you’ll project and receive positive. It’s really up to you. We have to renew our minds by replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. Yes, it’s work, but it’s worth it. Start your day how you want it to be! When you wake up in the mornings start pumping yourself up; be your own cheer team.

Create a regiment of your time, start by giving yourself some quiet time to meditate on your goals. Once you’ve done that you’ve got to fill your mind with quick positive ENCOURAGING statements. To get you started I have included a poem below, that I rewrote. I had my boys say it every morning before they started their day. It made a difference in how they behaved in school and at home. They began to believe in their abilities and still repeat it every morning till this day.

-What you think you are-

If you think you are beaten you are
If you think you dare not you won’t
If you’d like to win but don’t think that you can’t
It’s almost a cinch you won’t

If you think that you’ll lose you’ve lost
For out in the world we find success begins with a persons will
It’s all in the state of mind

If you think you’re out classed you are
You’ve got to think higher to rise
You’ve got to be sure and confident in yourself
To win Your Prize

Think Big and your deeds will grow
Think small and you’ll fall behind
Think that you can and you will
It’s all in your state of mind

Life’s battles won’t always go to the fastest or even strongest man
Because sooner or later the man who eventually wins will be the one who
Thought he could

What one thinks in the mind they will become!

Photo: craigmdennis (flickr)

The post Creating Your Day appeared first on OBVIOUS Magazine — Fashion & Lifestyle for Men and Women.

Demarco sits down with Obvious Magazine to discuss his personal trials and tribulations and why he see them as blessings.

Photography: Jerris Madison for www.jerrismadison.com
Story by: Omari J. Faulkner
Stylist and Grooming: J-Mad Styling
CLOTHING PROVIDED EXCLUSIVELY BY H&M
Location: Brooklyn, NY

Jacket
Shirt
Linen Shorts
All H&M www.hm.com

Denim Jeans H&M www.hm.com
Necklace Actor’s Own
Smile Actor’s Own

Jacket H&M www.hm.com
Shorts H&M www.hm.com
Necklace Actor’s Own
Shirt: LA Artist Ramses
Sneakers Calvin Klein www.calvinklien.com

INTERVIEW

Evansville, Indiana born Demarco Majors (currently resides in Brooklyn, NY) is athletic, powerful, bold and empowering a generation of ‘out’ athletes.

Continuing to reach new heights while simultaneously redefining stereotypes of ‘out’ men, DeMarco strives for the same lifestyle as any other male counterpart. After overcoming personal rejection from teammates after coming ‘out‘, DeMarco still persevered to do the one thing he has worked the hardest to be the best in, basketball. Currently, DeMarco is featured on LOGO’s reality series Shirts & Skins and plays guard for the San Francisco Rockdogs. He is also an aspiring writer and an Off-Broadway actor.

While on the road, I had the pleasure of speaking with DeMarco about his life as a basketball player and how he came to realize that he is happy and ‘HAPPY‘.

What is your favorite food?

I absolutely love Triple Cheese Burgers.

What is your idea of a good date?

My idea of a great date is realizing the person with me shares the same passion and drive. Cooking, dinner together, sitting down and relaxing together, going for a long walk and enjoying the perfect serenity of that day.

Can you cook? If so, what is your signature dish?

I love to cook! I’m from the Midwest and you know we eat very hearty. My best meal is smothered pork chops, baked macaroni and cheese, green beans, mashed potatoes and biscuits.

What kind of music do you have in your IPod?

I have little bit of every genre of music, but I am a huge of Neo Soul fan.

Are you religious?

I’m not a religious person. However, I am a spiritual man and I have a very strong belief and faith in God.

What does religion mean to you?

I believe religion is manmade, like organized religion. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing at all. It’s a great thing to worship the Lord and learn new things that you apply to your everyday life that helps you grow in your faith.

Do you have children and/or want children?

I do not have children. Actually, I have never been intimate with a woman. I really want to be a father and raise a family. I am the last male carrying our family name and it would mean the world to me give my son my father’s last name.

How old were you when you came out?

At the age of 24 years of age. I had never been involved with a man or women before. A few years later, I made the decision to open up to my close friends. I took my time in making the right decision for me.

I asked a friend that was in college to take me to a gay bar to see what it was like. While in the bar I called my cousin and put my phone in the air so he could hear the music and I hung up. The very next day he came to pick me up and asked me, “Where were you last night?” I told him that I think I have an attraction to men, but I don’t know because I had never felt like this before in my life. He almost lost his mind screamed so loud, stopped the car and died laughing… and then he had a confession of his own.

When you lost your contract after your secret was out, how did you feel at that moment?

The fact that someone actually considered me to be on there professional team was amazing to me. I worked so hard my whole life. I sacrificed all through high school and never got to play. I worked even harder during college. I was willing to go anywhere in this world to experience my dream of taking basketball as far as I could. It hurt like hell; I was completely devastated when I realized that other players had an issue with my sexuality. That made it hard for me to do my job with passion and conviction. I never flirted with anyone. I encouraged everyone to do their best. I was the first to practice the last to leave motto and I was encouraged to leave it all behind because I didn’t lie about who I loved privately.

How do you feel about it currently?

I’m completely at peace with it now. I knew then that my decision was not about me. I knew I could take the abuse in order to open the door for others to walk through safely, without fear or reservations. Now we have a show on television showcasing my friends and I. Now others have someone to identify with and I know I made the best decision.

Do you wish you would have stayed silent?

No. That help mold me into the man I am today not to mention the lives that have been touched through my experience.

What have you learned from all of this pressure?

I learned how to be a man and accept without complaints the gifts that God gives. I haven’t seen everything He has in store for me. I will walk faithfully to it.

Should other professional athletes come out and say they’re gay?

If it’s right for them, yes. I say by all means, DO IT! However, everything has to be done when your heart is ready not just for the sake of pleasing others. You have to do right by you first.

What are some of your best qualities?

My friends say that some of my best qualities are patience, kindness, great since of humor, compassionate, confident, and a big heart.

If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?

I wouldn’t change a thing. I love the man that I am becoming and accept the man that I am.

Tell me something about you that people would be in smiles to hear?

I am now willing to admit and put myself out there. I am single and I can’t be single forever…LOL

With Shirts and Skins’ being a reality show, did the show really depict who you are as a person?

I believe the show captured a very small part of my personality…Everyone who talk to me about the show thinks I am a very quiet, serious person.

What do you have going on right now with your career?

I recently finished my first Off-Broadway play, writing a book at the moment, doing another theater project that will tour around the country, and I am auditioning for major feature films as well.

Do you feel you are an attractive man? What is attractive to you?

I do believe that I am an attractive man and not visually…I am a very calm and peaceful person. People always tell me they feel safe and at ease when they’re around me and to me that is attractive because it’s positive energy.

Do you think ‘straight’ women should bear kids with ‘gay’ men? Why?

Yes, however, I believe it should happen with a responsible man. Being heterosexual or homosexual doesn’t matter.

With women knowing your background, why do you feel they STILL want to be intimate with you knowing you are into men?

I am a man. In my experience, some women have told me that they feel cared for, loved, can have deep conversations without being judged, confident, I treat women how a women should be treated and admired, and they find a true friend in me. This is something that I hope to share with everyone that I am close to.

Tell me 5 things you are grateful for and why?

God
I’m grateful to God for having mercy on my life and compassion while blessing me when I know I don’t deserve it and he continues to love me and grants me all that my life needs.

Family
I’m grateful for my family. I am fortunate enough to have a mother who never taught me through her words; she showed me by example. I watched my mother grow up and become an amazing women and the backbone of the entire family. She is the strongest person I have ever had the pleasure to meet in my life. My sisters Aria Price and Brittney Johnson from the very first day that they came home from the hospital I promised God that I will do all that he needs me to do to be there for them. All my cousins, they know who they are and we all are so close and they have always been by my side in dear to my heart. They accepted my through my coming out stage and never thought any different of me.

Best Friends
My best friend, Malcolm Roberts, who was there for me in my darkest days and opened his home to me when I had no where to go and help rehabilitate my heart and mind. Just being around him, allowed me to overcome and become stronger mentally. For that I am so grateful.

Management
My management team Savvy Marketing they are the best friends that you could ever have! They take care of my life and we bond and work as a family…They truly believe in me and I look up to Mark and Savoy like older brothers. They are incredibly special to me and I thank God for them daily.

Fans
Last, but not least, everyone who has been apart or supported my decisions in my career. I am just getting started and the love I have receive from fans all over the world truly humbles me. Out of all the things that they could be doing with their lives, they take time to share there lives with me and are inspired to do as well as become more from our conversation or something I shared in an interview.

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