If you think too long about the meaning of the word “pressure,” it could create an anxiety attack. Being a man helps one to understand the meaning of this word in ways that only he could understand. The pressure of raising and supporting a family, the pressure of holding a job in a weakened economy, the pressures of making sure he and his family maintain proper health insurance coverage.

Men have always been under some sort of pressure starting as a young child being told to hide their emotions. Hide your emotions? Why? Does it make you ‘soft’ to show emotion? Keeping emotions bottled up can create high levels of stress and anxiety which in turn will lead to serious health problems. Understanding the power of having a healthy mind, body and spirit is imperative for all humans, but something men should focus on to prevent heart attacks, social anxiety, high blood pressure, and diabetes. With these 5 simple steps, any man can take charge of their life: physically, mentally, emotionally and socially.

Improve Your Feelings and Thoughts: You’ve probably been hiding your true feelings since you were a child. If you were upset and wanted to cry you couldn’t. If you felt weak, you had to portray strength. When you didn’t succeed at something you felt you failed… Sound familiar? Do away with it all! Don’t be afraid to express how you truly feel. Women love to hear what a man is thinking or how they feel. Be honest with yourself. The good news is that you have the power to create thoughts. Learn to take negative thoughts or feelings and change them into positive ones. Learning to take control of your life, emotions, fears, strengths and weaknesses is the foundation of creating a healthy mind, body and soul. You will be able to accomplish any dream, goal or task that you plan if you train your mind to think positive thoughts. Your subconscious mind will store these thoughts and you begin to watch your dreams unfold through your actions.

Take Time Out For Something Fun: Create a get -away! Something fun that you love to do. A sport, game, or even taking a simple walk outside. This is your time to free your mind and think of absolutely nothing. This is your time to clear your thoughts and in certain ways recharge. It’s very healthy to take this kind of time out in a day, even if it’s for only 20 minutes. Try it and notice the difference. Do something for yourself, something you enjoy!

Create Goals For Yourself: Create three goals for yourself. Keeping a mental image of what your goal is and how you want to see the steps in your goal accomplished is always a great way to achieve success. The mind is a powerful tool and we should use it often. Stop and think of one of your goals, and visualize it. What does it look like? What are you proud of? What difficulties do you see? These are important tips that help when setting goals. Use a workbook to set up these ideas:

Name Your Goal.
Be Specific
Be Realistic
Plan: Timeframe, How, When and Where Commitment
Log Your Difficulties and Successes

Log your goals and visualize them ! You will see them become a reality.

Get Proper Nutrition and Exercise: You know about proper nutrition and exercise. Now, it’s time to utilize that information to transform your life. Do you know how many calories you should consume a day? Have you ever counted? Do you eat a balanced diet ? Do you need to lose a few pounds? Lower your cholesterol? These are questions you may want to find the answer to. With proper nutrition and exercise you will provide a lifestyle that will create a positive self-image as well as create energetic endorphins through exercise. Which in essence raises your serotonin levels, creating happier moods, naturally. Check into your calorie intake with your doctor and get a nutrition plan in place. Don’t delay, start today. Jump on the treadmill, take a jog, or a walk just 30 minutes a day at least for 3 days out of the week. You will feel the difference in how you feel, plus you’ll be preventing health problems from occurring.

Get Socially Involved: Join a club, sport, or something with a friend or spouse. Get out and mingle. Spend time with friends and family. We use social skills each and every day: conversing with others, sharing with others, greeting people, asking questions, complimenting others, helping others, meeting new people, giving directions, the list never ends. We use our skills in ways that influence how others treat us. The best thing to understand in the art of social skills is to know many, and utilize them as effectively as you can. This creates wonderful relationships, friendships and helps all to co-habitate much easier. So, get involved and share your thoughts, ideas and great social skills with family, friends, new and old.

Learning to take charge of your life with these 5 Simple Steps will unlock your potential and empower you to accomplish any goal in life while learning to self reflect as you discover more about yourself!

by Michelle Rossi

Michelle Rossi, (White) is a graduate from Oakland University, Rochester, Michigan. She has earned her Bachelor of Science Degree in Elementary Education and a Michigan Teaching Certificate. She is the founder/CEO of the ‘All About Me Program’ that is being utilized throughout many communities. http://www.michellerossiyouareastar.com

Black in Action with Usman Ojibara

Embrace Usman Ojibara, the newest face to burst into the fashion and film stratosphere, as he launches out and defines his budding career on his own terms. Serving as the cover model for this month’s stunning men’s editorial entitled, “The White Out”, the aspiring actor also celebrates his twenty-third birthday the day this issue is released. We caught up with the former Rutgers University student and Newark, NJ native to talk about his experience behind the camera, his rising star and even his secret crush. Now, don’t get it twisted. This young buff is on the move and has been blessed and equipped with more than just brains and beauty. We introduce to you yet another new face to watch out for in 2009. He’s Usman Ojibara and he’s Black in Action.

Terron: How did you decide to pursue modeling?

Usman: There were fashion shows back in high school. I was asked to do them all the time, but I never really pursued it back then like people thought I should. It wasn’t until I graduated and started working in retail. I’d start running into people who would tell me I should be modeling. I did my first set of work with photographer Lenny Hamilton and that’s what got me excited about all this and into building my portfolio.

TA: You’re aiming to quickly become a force to reckon with by building your acting and modeling portfolios simultaneously. How does that play into your long term career goals?
UO: I always knew I wanted to do something great. Even as far back as elementary school when I was auditioning for plays and eventually getting the leads, I knew that I could develop the acting thing as well. I was very into becoming a different character and doing that on a much more grand scale. I have the passion for both modeling and acting, but acting is definitely where my heart is. I have to get out here and use them both to get to where I want to be.

TA: What was it like for you behind the scenes of this issue’s cover shoot?

UO: I’ve never experienced anything like this at all. It felt like a dream come true because it seemed like all my hard work was paying off. I really got to experience working with a photographer and stylist who saw things in me that I didn’t even see. I know it might sound cliché but this shoot showed me that black is truly beautiful no matter what.

UO: I’m excited because I just became a finalist for the reality TV show The World of Modeling so we’ll see where that goes. Overall, I would love to star in my first movie role and then eventually do something iconic. I really want people to recognize me and my face as Usman – the man, the model, the actor and businessman. I want to have an agent soon and continue getting my acting resume together while I work the modeling path, too. I really feel like my time is coming. I know it’s going to take hard work, but I’m more than ready and this is just the beginning of the success that’s on its way.

UO: I’m very big on giving and education so I’m going to start a scholarship fund back at my high school for students who don’t have the financial means to further their education in college. I didn’t have the finances to return after my first semester so I want to help kids who may encounter the same thing. I’m even going to go back and finish what I started as well.

UO: That’s hard work, too, but actually my girlfriend keeps me balanced. She’s my biggest supporter right now. I think it’s essential for everyone to have that. If you don’t, at least have friends around you that you can turn to and really communicate with. Having someone there is the best pick me up in any situation.

UO: It might surprise people, but I’m the seventh out of eight children. I’ll randomly cook for her or do like we did on our first real date. We’ll go out for a movie and then have dinner or a meal at a nice restaurant where we really just take time to candidly talk and get into each other’s brain.

UO: Oh man. (Laughs) This might get me into trouble, but I’d have to say my first crush in the modeling industry was Tyra Banks. It was that Got Milk ad she was in years ago with the milk mustache. Man, even then as a kid, I fell in love. Then there was actress Vivica Fox. She just had a certain class about her that she brought every time she was onscreen. When I look at her I see a real woman.

TA: What have you learned the most about the dating game in your past relationships?

UO: Be careful. Everyone does not have your best interest at heart. You have to be willing to let people in, but also be careful not to leave yourself open to being wounded. It’ll happen, but there are some things you can avoid by just paying attention and being careful.

UO: I value the fact that relationships are built on trust. Without that, there’s really nothing and if I’m in a relationship that doesn’t have that we simply shouldn’t be together. Above all of this determination in my career, I’m thankful that I have the ability to trust someone I care for at the end of the day. It’s very hard to come by so when you find it, hold onto it.

Terron D. Austin is a writer living in his native Cincinnati, OH. His work has been published in CiN Weekly Magazine & Cincinnati Magazine.

Credits:
Photography by JERRIS MADISON for www.jerrismadison.com
Grooming and Wardrobe by J-Mad Styling

A Story About Relationships

I’m a fan of relationships… yep, all of ‘em: platonic, romantic, dysfunctional; and a sucker for love in every form whether reciprocated, unrequited or life-long. With my reverence for love and relationships, I suspect I’m in the minority. Lord knows the two in tandem can wreak havoc. But lately I’ve noticed a disturbing trend. When did devotion become the enemy? Where is the love?

I used to find it in love songs. But I don’t think those exist anymore. When is the last time you heard something as beautiful as, “All I Do Is Think Of You” by the Jacksons, or “Could It Be I’m Falling In Love?” by the Spinners? Do folks fall in love anymore? Do you?

I don’t know where the trend started. Or why we – yes, all of us are to blame – let love, the idea of love, die. Maybe it’s the microwave society we live in; the one that teaches us that anything worth having is worth having right now. Yeah, I’m guilty of it too. I’m continually in search of the fastest internet connection and Lord knows there has to be a quicker way to get a customer service rep on the phone than screaming “Operator” until my vocal chords shred.

But I digress; we were talking about the death of love and relationships.

Maybe it happened when folks stopped hanging in there with each other.

Sidebar: I’m not even talking about marriage, who gets married these days? Folks are too concerned with their bottom line; negotiating the pre-nup by the second date. I don’t know how you can make a go of it if when you’re already plotting the end of it. But don’t listen to me; I’m sentimental and digressing again…

When I said folks stopped “hanging in there” I meant as boyfriend/girlfriend. Darn that pesky upgrade mentality. You know the upgrade? Upgrade says: why stick with the one you’re with when the one you ‘can have’ is right over there… and they’re hotter! Yay, hotter!

Upgrade aside, maybe love and relationships have died because we’re too focused on the wrong things… like making love… in the club. Yeah, I’ve heard that song. I’m not a fan.

If that’s the case, let me just say to the men who are forsaking no one in the pursuit of that thing (and you know what thing I’m talking about).

Women are great at and for lots of things. And yes, making love (hopefully NOT in the club) is one of them; but it’s the least of our gifts, trust! I’m going to tell you about a few of our other attributes because I fear a lot of you guys — on the grind with your fabulous selves — don’t realize what you’re missing when you don’t go deeper… and no that wasn’t a double entendre. Take note that the qualities I’m about to mention are found in good women. So if you don’t find them on display in the woman you are currently with, let that be a lesson to ya. That little disclaimer aside, here we go… we (good) women are wonderful problem solvers and encouragers. When we believe in you no one sings your praises louder or longer. When you need a word, no one prays stronger. When you need help, no one can make sense of things better. We are ride-or-die, when we love you. When we love you, there is no one more loyal. We are nurturers and way-makers. If you bring us your dream we will roll up or sleeves and do our best to bring it to fruition. And let’s talk about the basics, yes, we can cook, clean, organize your life and have and raise your babies. All of which we will gladly do, when we feel appreciated by you… you’d be surprised how little it takes to make us feel appreciated. We are all this, much more and yes, even good in bed. But you’re missing out when that’s all you see us as and use us for.

And to the ladies… please come out of the shallows, and understand that what he drives, where he lives and where he works is NOT the sum of the man. Those trivial, transitory things don’t even scratch the surface of what makes him great and possibly great for you. His heart, his character, his dreams, his vision, his relationship with his mother and hopefully the Lord are the things you should be checking out and checking for. Is he responsible, caring, and considerate? Can he make a baby laugh? Can he comfort you when you’re crying? Is he brave enough to give you his heart? Can he trust that you will protect it? Will you protect it?

Tough questions. Yep, no one said love and relationships were easy, especially not in this age where “hooking up” is the rage. But that’s what makes them worthwhile?

And a word about all that “hooking up”, yeah, it’s easy and there’s no string attached. Still, I don’t see a lot of folks who are happy… at least not in the long run. And if it’s true, that indiscriminate hooking up doesn’t bring happiness, don’t you think it’s time to try something new? Well, something old, really. Can we try going back to the way they used to do it back in the day? Back when folks learned about each other before giving themselves to each other. Can we wait awhile — like Janet said — at least until we know each other’s mama’s names? Can we re-attach some strings? Can we rediscover how to love?

I’m telling you, love is the business!

Remember staying up all night, staring at the ceiling because you just couldn’t get that person off your mind? Remember the butterflies that came at the mention of their name? Remember counting the days, even minutes until you were going to see them again, even if it was just two seconds before life pulled you both in different directions again? And once you were in it, remember thinking that no one, NO ONE measured up to the one you loved? No one even came close! Whoo! That, my friends, was LOVE and I miss it!

I know it’s no longer the age of “Could It Be…” and “All I Do…” and yeah, I’m sad about it. But I’m not giving up. Even in a world of indiscriminate hook-ups, break-ups and pessimistic pre-nups, real love is worth finding… at least I believe it is.

Who’s with me?

by Yvette Nicole Brown, Celebrity Guest Writer
Yvette Nicole Brown is a film and television actress. This Ohio native resides in Los Angeles.
Photo: TINA B. HENDERSON for www.tinabphotos.com