Relating to Relationships

I suppose it’s inevitable… we all eventually meet someone that ignites our interest in a striking way. There are many people on both sides of the fence when it comes to meeting someone that can turn something on in us. And no, not just in the sexual sense, but the senses that we usually cope without or describe as “missing” when we’re doing what we do. As lonely as it can appear, it’s almost effortless to be single these days. So when it comes down to coupling, getting together, or making it official, how do we go about determining the label?

A relationship may refer to an interpersonal relationship. This classification is a relatively long-term association between two or more people where the association may be based on emotions such as love and liking, regular business interactions, or some other type of social commitment. There is also an intimate relationship, which is a particularly close interpersonal relationship. These participants know or trust one another a great deal or are confidants of one another, or physical and emotional intimacy is at play. Last but not least, there are casual relationships (or causality) that describe the relation of cause and effect.

Would you suppose you fit into any of these vague? I find it interesting that even where there are words and definitions, entanglements are capable of being manifested into a creation all our own. If you think about it, is anything really finite? I believe you have to have firm knowledge of effective communication techniques in order to make a relationship progress. But what makes a relationship… well, a relationship? Who is in charge of putting that publicly explicit and/or cringe-worthy word into play for everyone to have and hold? Anyone could say it’s “all about the experience,” or “live your life, have fun,” or even the coup de grace of relating advice, “you should settle down.” I’m not sure about you, but I’ve re-evaluated my perceptions about what exactly a relationship.

Relationship:

1. The condition or fact of being related; connection or association.
2. Connection by blood or marriage; kinship.
3. A particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other: has a close relationship with his siblings.
4. A romantic or sexual involvement.

Now if you ask me, I wouldn’t choose any of those descriptions. I’ve even changed my stance from believing that relationships are “work,” to knowing that a relationship itself, manifests and grows and is a by-product of two people creating a life together. Someone even pointed out to me how a relationship can restrict freedom… and that could be done in the most harmless way. Many people find themselves not so instinctual when it comes to allowing someone to be themselves and trust that they have their best interests at heart. You must be able to trust yourself. Even I have found myself dragging past experiences into my present. I remember telling myself to avoid this, but usually I adhere to my understanding of my truth, and the knowledge I gained from the situation. It’s sort of how it works, you know… “grow, love, fall, grow.”

The downfall of a relationship could come in various and intangible forms at any time. Many people try and control situations and change the characteristics of the very individual they choose to give an informal title to. I ask myself – who am I to try and make someone be how I want them to be, rather than let them be who they are? Shouldn’t that be the reason why I have a desire to, dare I say it… have emotional, or romantic, or sexual involvement with someone? When do we know that it has become so substantial that it becomes a ‘relationship?’ Is anyone really ever ready for anything? Expectations tend to be the damned juices we enjoy exchanging amongst each another. So ask yourself… what is a relationship? What are you relating to? Do you understand that every choice you make is creating the play & process of such a supposedly important thing? The best and worst part of a relationship is that it’s a catch 22. Two complete strangers becoming familiar with one another… conjoining two completely separate into a body of one. I’m amazed when I hear married couples have been together 20 some odd years (especially when there’s been no indiscretions). It’s very rare to find someone (period) who is compatible and honest enough to relish in the joy of being in a relationship these days…

When will we begin to take part in creating something different? Make your own definition of a relationship and utilize exchanges that lead to a joyful and empowering experience. The possibilities are infinite. I don’t necessarily know exactly what ‘my’ relationship is… all I know is that I’m breaking the mold and taking it one step at a time. Slow and steady wins the race, and I come with an open mind and heart. I believe when too many stipulations are put on the union, it becomes something that isn’t proactive to progress. Living is all about growth and we are blessed if we can share it with someone we have affinity for.

To connect to anything, we have intuition and body language, or energy for assistance with “how to proceed.” Why do we forget (or pay no mind to) where we’ve been when involved in a new situation or kinship. History tends to repeat itself until a lesson is learned and often times many people find themselves coming upon the same solution to their problem, only to create additional issues. Where did relationships become so difficult that there’s no longer a word to describe how difficult it actually is to just go with the flow and enjoy? Are we so desperate to be involved that we overlook the obvious ins and outs of what opportunities we engage in? If you ask me it almost seems like a loss.

I figure the interest is in having a precise and healthy relevance with someone, not subjected to said “rules” and “guidelines to a happier you?” It’s well known there are many more different levels of relationships and depending on which it is, women and men want different things (as do women & women, and men & men).While the word relationship tends to carry high stature, since it falls slightly below marriage, it’s the most practical thing that comes to mind after a roughly summed 6 months of dating. There are dates, and there is a continuous growth between two people. Typically people think they jump, skip, and fall in love, but it truly comes down to the affinity you have for yourself and the other person. We are reflections of one another at a certain time and place in life. The end result is attempting to have a more organic way of labeling whatever it is the two of you are doing.

“What is a relationship?” The best thing I could think of is to take a sheet of paper and do a ‘pros & cons’ list of sorts. An affirming way of writing the word ‘relationship’ and adding certain descriptions or sentiments that would grow into the principle for the definition of what two people are sharing. I wouldn’t say that I know what a relationship is… what I do know, is that I am capable of creating something with someone (like-minded) and have it persevere. Following gut instinct is the best advice I try to follow, but who’s to say yours is hungry or full but you? I live my life in light of a statement I discovered recently (and yes, this includes relating to relationships and the like)… “And love is the primary source material, the vibration of pulsating cosmic energy that fuels every aspect of the field of existence.” [Path of Empowerment, by Barbara Marciniak; Nov. 17, 2004].

YOU are the individual to define what a relationship is (with your significant other, of course). So be conscious of the present moment and understand the exchange of communication, emotions, and everything else that is created between two people. Whether it is merely physical and bounds on a sexual note, or something more casual, right down to something as ‘substantial’ as a relationship, these and various other levels are what two people in the relationship are responsible for interpreting – what it is and will be! The entire experience should denote a specific intent, from meet-cute to departing… a relationship is exactly what you make of it. You have the power of action, thought, and word. In the end, being thankful for and opportunity to explore your potential to love and be loved is the best way to look at any relationship.

Tionne 2009, All Rights Reserved